


You lied to me

by Lunamme



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Gosh Asuka really need therapy huh?, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27484051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunamme/pseuds/Lunamme
Summary: Asuka Reflects.
Kudos: 6





	You lied to me

**Author's Note:**

> A small prompt fic for a challenged posed between some friends.
> 
> Original Prompt: "You lied to me."

Maybe it was for the best. Glazed eyes looked back in forlorn recognition, taking all her energy just to reminisce. She was strong. A pillar of humanity, an ideal to strive to be. All of her glistening gold reputation is heavy on her shoulders. A sigh. Maybe it was always due to turn out this way. Maybe this was her payment for those glory days. No matter now, it was time to collect. A childhood of training, of rigid expectations, of those expectations being shattered like a pane of glass - with her ascending from the boundaries others had set into fame and her deserved recognition.

Cold filled her veins. Unnatural. Wrong. But she could not bring herself to care. Ice in her heart was a comfort. Common. Recognisable. Basking in her waking thoughts like a shroud, ignored but always lurking. Was it always this way? Was this new, or ever present though her former days, or even there at all? Did it even matter anymore.

A flash of memory. Warm words, filling her heart with hope. How she ached for them again. For Kaji’s praise, for Misato’s comforting words. Even Shinji’s apologetic incessant mumbling. All of it warmed her heart at one point or another. All of it better than this hollow pit that encased her soul. Her hands ached, ghost memories of slaps and hits distributed, the low chill of crimson bathed palms. All these years she was told she could be the best, would be the best, was destined to rise to the top. Her sync scores were legendary, showing her prowess and her courage. Her determination, her god-given right to pilot. And now she couldn’t even do that.

Her whole life she had been told she was born to pilot. She had sacrificed everything to pilot. Her family, her determination, her very essence. And as she lay here, looking out at the broken and desolated ruins of a room, blood soaking her wrists and pooling around her back she only had one thought rack through her mind. One thought filling her very soul, very essence. She thought back to all of them. Kaji. Misato. Shinji. Rei. NERV.

She thought back to all she had ever been told, all the information she had been groomed with, all the praise and well wishes and training, and only one thought came to her. The one thought filling her mind as she reflected back.

You lied to me.

**Author's Note:**

> Part of a competition! Please see VoxelVirus and DmnDgSys for their entries if you want to :P


End file.
